untitled

hmm...How does one start this?
I went to this nice Chinese eatery called Hong Kong today near Gulmohar Park with a few of my friends from Delhi. The food was good, the noodles and the boiled vegetables...and then we went to turquoise cottage...I am not much of a party animal. Therefore, not sure if I enjoyed it much. There was a little faux pas at the door and I swear it did not involve yours truly...however much my acquaintances might like to draw such a presumption. But coming back to the main strand of the narrative...I had no daaroo...that is because I jave come to the conclusion that daaroo n awasthi simply do not go together...although I was sorely tempted. Otherwise, the birthday girl was quite resplendent in her little black dress and the kohl-rimmed eyes and the sight of familiar faces who did not belong to the little cesspool that I inhabit gladdened my heart...
But I got up with the feeling that for the first time I just felt that I did not relate to these guys as well as I used to...the conversation was not at all lively and not interspersed with any non-veg jokes...completely cliched...they talked about their b-school exams and their internals and their b-school exams... and most of the salacious gossip I could not follow...that was because I knew nothing as to who it related to...and then there were the people whom I did not know at all even by name...and then there were the people who reminded me of some other people whose whereabouts I did not know anything about and then there was nostalgia...
The winter of 2003...it was cold......my city can be a real bitch during the winter...I was a nice kid in those days...can still picture each and every detail...and then I passed out of school...we scribbled stuff on each others shirts...embreaced each other...laughed heartily and throatily...took jhappis of girls who were way above our league and that would be the closest we would ever get to them...
and that was that...
the end...period...full stop...and there would be no more...

read a nice book...the alchemy of desire...tarun tejpal...better known for tehelka.com...did not get the message though...can romantic love be completely devoid of lust and if yes how is it different from any other variety...question raised but unanswered...or did he never raise this question and it is simply subjective interpretation...but is not all interpretation subjective...no objectivity and therefore we should not even try...

leaving for Kanpur tomorrow...would have loved to squeeze in a little trip to varanasi...but wont be there long enough...n then there will b a day-long trip to north campus...n there I will think about what I have missed out on...these people have changed sooooooooo much...I wonder what wiuld have happened to me had I stayed on...I am a very different 20 year old from what they are...although we were similar as seventeen year olds...ohh...n old friend of mine said something to the effect of "UPSC mein toh teraa ho hee jaaegaa..." liked it...nice to hear little words of encouragement every now and then since they are so few and far in between...once in a shocking pink moon...n then there is more...sometimes I wonder why they make things so difficult for us...

my psyche is filled to the brim with myriad emoitions in psychedelic colours and I keep getting confused...and it is as if somebody is using the vessel to boil water for his chaai...